Anyone who says they don’t need any help is either extremely prideful, lying to themselves, or needs to heal and expand their circle. I believe that part of our true genius is revealed when we ask for help. We ALL need it in some area(s) of our lives. Yes, we are strong, resilient, and always keep it moving to make it happen, but, help is still a very healthy and necessary component that may be the catalyst we need to catapult us into our next level.
Needing help and asking for it is one of the greatest things we can do. It shows we’re smart, courageous, and wise. I always say we, not “you”, because this applies to me as well. We are all in this together. To be transparent, I have been the one who was going to do it or figure it out “all on my own”. There is nothing wrong with trying first, but the wisdom comes with knowing when to ask for help. Being extremely prideful and thinking we can do it all on our own can significantly affect and effect what we’re doing. When lying to and convincing ourselves that we “don’t need nobody”, we shut ourselves down and limit ourselves to ourselves. Limiting ourselves to ourselves means that we shut out other ideas, perspectives and skill sets that could enhance and soar our ideas or lives, (if it’s personal) into a much higher level than we ever imagined.
People need people – period!! Many of us have gotten to that point of “needing nobody”, not only because of pride or lies, but because of hurt and disappointment. We’ve leaned on or reached out to someone or many someones (I know, not a word) that have dropped us. Yes, it did hurt REALLY BAD, especially when it was by family or the one we truly trusted. But know this: their lack of capacity or skillset to handle or assist us does not negate or change the greatness or creativity inside of us. We still have a plan and purpose for our lives to complete. What it does mean, however, is that we need to heal from the drop, expand and level up our circle. It is extremely important to get SKILLED and WISE counsel from someone who is where we want to be, doing what we want to do, or has the correct skillset to help. Notice that SKILLED and WISE are capitalized because lack of positive support is not always the issue. Counsel from positive support that is not skilled or wise in our area of need can be just as detrimental. True story, and I’ll make it brief. My very first business plan was 3 pages. Yep, 3 – whole – pages. I Googled and found a business plan template. I was taking initiative and doing it on my own because I was determined to start my own business. I completed the template with words that seemed so impactful and impressive. I had a business plan dinner party with “professional” friends, and all was well in my world. My friends and family were so genuinely proud, telling me how good it was, and speaking positive affirmations that I was really on my way. I proudly went to my appointment with the SBA and confidently handed him my business plan. That was a Tuesday that I will never forget. He looked it over and asked, with a smirk on his face, where is the rest? I proudly confirmed that it was all there – all 3 pages. Long story short, I changed his name to Freddy because the razor-sharp claws swiftly came out and…well…you get the picture and I’m sure you can figure out the rest. My point – supportive, well-meaning counsel, but not skilled or wise, can have a negative affect. And, another important mention: constructive criticism is not “hating” on your plans – it is necessary to excel. Freddy, as I so renamed him, was not attempting to discourage or derail my business goals but using his skills and wisdom to point out the necessary corrections for me to succeed. This is also true even when our areas of need are not business related but personal in nature. Wise counsel, a good Counselor or Therapist can make a tremendous difference and be the catalyst we need – even when the advice is something we don’t want to hear. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it. Need help? Absolutely!! Let’s be smart and courageous enough to get it.
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